'I'm here to party, not sleep': Traveller ends friendship after a girls trip gone wrong

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 7, 2023 3:00 PM EST

Realizing you and a friend are growing apart can be difficult to process. That's why u/IndependentLady22 took some time to write down her concerns about her BFF, who she's realizing she may have to leave in her past. 

Six years is a long time to be friends with someone. You get to know everything about each other's lives, friends, relationships, family, and even work drama. You probably have tons of memories together as you grow over time. Some friendships last forever… but others are only meant for a season of your lives. 

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  • While you may be BFFs with someone for your whole life, sometimes you realize that you've been friends with someone just because you were in the same place at the same time. Like maybe you and a friend had classes together at school that you studied for all the time. But then when you grab a coffee together a few years after school's finished, you realize you don't have much to talk about anymore. Other times, you might realize that you want better from the people in your life. Maybe you suddenly realize that over time, your friendship has started to deteriorate. It seems like this OP realized that she wasn't happy in her friendship, but only after she visited r/mildlyinfuriating to vent about a vacation gone wrong. 

    OP detailed all of the reasons why this girl's trip was not a good time, and commenters gave her some good advice. You can check out the entire story below, then read a work story. 

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 9834271488
    via David Vives on Unsplash
  • 02
    Trip had me reconsidering our 6 year friendship First girls trip together (both 25F) and I came back questioning our friendship. I took time to write down my frustrations:
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 03
    • Doesn't help with pre- planning trip (booking flight/hotel/ transportation/ itinerary). This leads to her asking too many back to back questions like a kid. Even on days where I didn't plan anything she would ask me to plan them out. She wouldn't help. It was mentally draining. I felt like a tour guide.
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 04
    • Doesn't help with navigation during trip (says she can't read/understand google maps? Or subway signs). It was our first time navigating this new city. We mainly took the subway or walked.
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 05
    • Doesn't like to relax in one location (beach day) or spend a night indoors ("I'm here to party, not sleep")
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 06
    • If we have different preferences on how to spend the day (me at spa/cafe vs her at a house party) She can't go to the house party alone. Begs me to go with her even though I repeatedly told her I'd rather relax tonight, and tells me to stop acting up even through I'm telling her calmly. Complete disregard for my choices and complete lack of independence on her part.
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 07
    • Asks me to take too many pictures of her. I take 6 pics and she takes 30 pics + videos in one setting on average. Barely cares if I took a pic of myself. Selfish about how long it takes to take pics of her. Cares too much about online appearance. Rarely satisfied about the pics I take. "Make me look tall and skinnier." Talks down about the pics I took of her.
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 08
    • Can't go anywhere on her own. I don't mind going down to grab breakfast at the hotel lobby when I wake up before her. I make sure to grab her food too. On the other hand, If she wakes up first and wants to go get breakfast, she wants me to wake up and go with her every time. Doesn't let me sleep in.
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 09
    • Used my color corrector applicator directly on her blemishes. She has serious acne and I have normal skin. I didn't want to use it anymore for the rest of the trip since I didn't know what is causing her acne. I asked her to buy her own. She said she didn't want to buy one during this trip because it's cheaper back home. I let her use mine for the rest of the trip and let her keep it. I bought a new one once I got back.
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 10
    • Have to remind her about money owed if I paid for a service for both of us. Looks annoyed when I bring up money owed later. She does pay me back. Edit: Lots of folks are asking how things are day to day. After we got back from the trip. We didn't really talk much for a while. You could tell the friendship was strained from the many arguments we had during the trip.
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 11
    I've been asking myself if I want someone like her in my life. I grew up a people pleaser. I started reading more about setting boundaries and have changed during the past 6 months. I started observing our friendship and I noticed that she only calls when she needs help with a task or wants to ask a favor like borrowing money. She does pay me back. She
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 12
    didn't text me on my birthday. Her birthday is coming up and I booked her a facial as her gift, which she almost missed because she was super late, and will be paying for a part of her birthday dinner. She is super late to outings. She showed up almost an hour and half late to a reserved dinner. I told her I'm leaving after 30 mins next time, setting boundaries. I'm starting to notice we have different morals.
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 13
    pettyb 1111 Rethink this "friendship". Not a relationship you need. She is ok as a go to coffee friend but nothing more.
    via u/pettyb****1111
  • 14
    auntwewe I have found before I do any major trip with someone I do a weekend trip to see if we are travel compatible. Got burned once myself. You can still be friends with someone and absolutely not want to travel with them.
    via u/auntwewe
  • 15
    Coco_Banana_Bear. Some friends are simply not meant to be in close proximity for too long. I think you've learnt that about this particular person and I would put it down as that. Vent about it hear, find a way to laugh about it and try to let go of the resentments from the trip.
    via u/Coco_Banana_Bear
  • 16
    Wonderful_Okra_5013. She's obviously self- centered. Is she always like this or just during the trip? I don't think it's worth cutting off a friendship if it's over just one trip. But if she constantly behaves like this, yes Maybe ask yourself if you want someone like her in your life? As you get older, you'll find your circle of friends getting smaller n smaller.
    via u/Wonderful_Okra_5013
  • 17
    IndependentLady22 OP Yeah, I've been asking myself if I want someone like her in my life. I grew up a people pleaser and was parentified pretty young. My mom is very needy, but she is a story for another day. I started reading more about setting boundaries and have changed during the last 6 months. I noticed that she only calls when she needs help with a task or wants to ask a favor like borrowing money.
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 18
    She does pay me back. She didn't text me on my birthday. Her birthday is coming up and I booked her a facial as her gift, which she almost missed because she was super late, and will be paying for a part of her birthday dinner. She is super late to outings. She showed up almost an hour and half late to dinner. I told her I'm leaving after 30 mins next time. I don't like how she treats servers, rarely tips and is very demanding. I don't know. Im starting to
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 19
    notice we have different morals. I just don't have good vibes about her anymore. It si cks.
    via u/IndependentLady22
  • 20
    eternalsnacklord I would also question my friendship if I traveled with someone like that. It has to be stressful and disappointing. I can sort of understand not wanting to be alone, but other than that she acts pretty entitled and as if your time and needs is worth less than hers :(
    via u/eternalsnacklord

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best friends travelling girls Travel trip vacation friendship vacations hotel flight friends beach mildly infuriating planning flying
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